I’ve been having one of those weeks where I feel very underwhelmed at myself. Part of that is because I am used to having a team of 16-20 people under me now and I don’t currently have that (free time and I don’t always agree) and part of it is the fact that free time has given me an opportunity to think about where I am, where I want to be and what the heck is stopping me.
The answer most definitely is me. I am holding myself back. Over the last year with LuLaRoe, I put some other things on the back burner that I really need to get back to focusing on in order to move forward in my actual career. I have three tests left till I finish my insurance designation (hoping to be done by September) and if I take 2 classes per semester, I will finish my MBA a year from now. Those are my current goals. They’re going to be difficult for sure, but I am trying really hard to focus on what I can control and right now I’ve got time for those, I just need to make it.
Someone very wise (my mentor, Brianne – she is literally a gem) once told me not to let things I can control be the things that hold me back. I think about this quote more often than I think about any other advice anyone has ever given me because it is so resoundingly true. It also happens to be extremely applicable to my life right now and I am not sure I will be able to think of a time when it won’t be applicable.
So often we limit ourselves. We become our worst enemies because we decide we don’t have time to do something. You make time for what you want to do. We assume our time has passed, the proverbial ship has sailed. We couldn’t be more wrong. We can control some things and others we simply can’t, so we should focus on the former rather than the latter and stop making excuses.
It’s easier said than done. I am embarrassed to admit that I started my MBA in late 2015 (like super late) and am still not finished with something I thought I’d be done with by now. I cringe when people ask about it. Hell, they all probably forgot (thank God). It’s taken me a ridiculous amount of time to get my insurance designation (it takes most people 7 years, I am well under that, but I was planning two years and I am well over that). For someone who is typically so academically successful, in many ways, I’ve lost my drive to do stuff like that and focusing on studies is approximately 473856823946734823 times harder.
Still, here I sit.
Actually, here I sit on the computer typing up something about studying when I should actually be studying.
The point is, if you face this, you’re not alone. Procrastinators of the world unite, but actually get your shit done at some point. I don’t want to be that person that gets passed over for bringing a lot to the table, but not having the certifications needed to really get the job. I want to be a closer. I want to show people my investment in myself and that’s what these things I am working towards are. They’re investments in myself. Putting them on the sidelines only goes to show I have prioritized everything else over me for quite a while. It’s time to quit that and start moving forward.