Don’t pity me for working the late shift

Part of the move to AZ came with having to find childcare again. This is literally the hardest thing. It creates a pit in my stomach like you wouldn’t believe every time we’ve had to do it – and unfortunately that’s been very frequently in Elle’s short 3 years.

But what if we didn’t have to do that this time? I approached Ryan about potentially working the overnight shift (it’s a partial overnight more than anything) and explained to him we could cut daycare entirely. I could work 4 days a week working 3-1:30am and he could have the girls during that period. I could have them in the morning.

Would it be kind of rough? I mean…yeah. Am I going to be exhausted? Yeah, of course I am. I’m already tired and I go to bed at like 9pm. But would it be worth it? I think so.

When people hear I am working late, they immediately apologize. “I’m so sorry you have to work that shift.”

I chose this shift. Do not pity me. It’s true that some people did not. Feel free to pity them if they need the pity (but they probably don’t need the pity either).

It’s been a week since I started. I am tired. I start watching the clock pretty late at night but in the mornings, I am reminded of all the benefits.

Zoe doesn’t have to go to daycare at all right now and she’s 4 months old. She is with her parents all the time. Elle gets to be with us as well and she loves it. She’s doing great (but can we talk about how three year olds are kind of jerks sometimes?). Since I am there till 3 in the afternoon, we can now go to all those fun things they don’t ever seem to schedule such that working parents could potentially take their kids.

We hit the library (there’s going to be a swooning post about our library soon). We go to swim lessons. We can go to all the museums around us. We spend SO MUCH more time together than we did before. If you figure they go to bed around 8:30-9pm, I only miss about 24 hours with them total and I spent the rest of my time working during hours they’d normally be asleep anyways. Prior to this, I was away from Elle for like 50 hours a week and sometimes longer.

I don’t feel like I got the short end of the stick. I actually feel like I got the long one. It truly feels like the best of both worlds. I spend a lot more time with my kids. I don’t feel terrible if I want to go on a date and now we’re actively looking for babysitters. I don’t feel guilty if I am going to do something without them. As long as there is no shortage of coffee, I should be good to go. Sleepy, but happier than I have ever been.

So really, don’t pity me. I have everything I could ever want.

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