So we are currently keeping Elle and Zoe both out of daycare and let me tell you, I have spent too many waking seconds the last month worry about whether or not we’re making the right decision in keeping Elle out of daycare or not. I feel like I am having some sort of “don’t mess your child up or ruin her future” type of parenting life crisis or something.
I am totally overthinking it and I know that, but it doesn’t stop me from continuing to obsess over this.
I have several stay at home mom friends who are professionals at the trade, but this hybrid SAHM/working mom thing I am currently trying to pull off is not coming naturally to me. I took the night shift so I could spend more time with my littles and I am only away from them for like 25ish of their waking hours per week, which is awesome. I’m sleepy, but it is totally a happy medium for me right now. Talk to me in a few months when my sleep deprivation is so real I am not sure what my name is.
But for now – we’re doing okay.
When we decided to keep her home, one of the first things I made sure Ryan was aware of was the fact we had to be really intentional with some of our time with Elle. As my friends nicely put it when I am quite sure I sounded like a crazy lady to them “you don’t want to flashcard her to death,” but I also don’t want to sit on my hands and not do anything with her and lord knows that would be the easier option because Zoe is only 4 months old. I’m trying not to just sit her in front of a TV. I want her to play by herself, but I want her to get social exposure. SO MANY THINGS. I am not confident in our approach, and I was really confused starting out. I mean, I’m still confused. I am certainly not an expert on this subject. Someone write me a book.
But then, one of my dear friends reminded me about LIBRARIES. Cue me instantly feeling ashamed that I didn’t even think of this myself. I read so much as a child. So, so much and yet here I was not even considering that there is a library around the corner from us and I should be taking advantage of it.
I looked at their schedule and they have a million things going on all the time! Practically every day of the week I can prance Elle right in there and she can socialize and sing and play and do whatever and we can check out books and she can learn to love reading like I do (I mean she doesn’t do any of this and she actually just sits there like a stick in the mud but we’re trying). It’s educational, it’s fun and it is 100% free. All things I really like.
It makes me feel better that even when I am totally failing at getting the things done that I want to do, we’re still going to the library to try and do SOMETHING with her. We have our lazy days and our busy days, but I know myself and I know how quickly I can fall into having more lazy days than busy days so we’re attempting to get out of the house 2-3 times a week to do something like this so I feel like less I am disrupting her education or something. It’s a new thing for us and I’ve always kind of felt like while Elle can learn a lot from Ryan and myself, she can also benefit from trained professionals that know more about a child’s development than we both do. I mean she didn’t come with an instruction manual. Now to decide if we’re going to put her in preschool or not. I’ll tackle that in a different post.