As part of my mom trip, I picked a book to read on the plane. I never get to read and it used to be something that was so fundamentally a part of who I am as a person. I’ve been in school so long, I only read textbooks or new articles and sometimes it is nice to take a step back and remind myself who I am outside of a textbook, so I picked up this book.
It got great reviews and I can definitely see why. There were many things that resonated with me in the book and I am going to break it into the most applicable chapters for myself personally. It was a good book. Worth the read. Very quick and easy to get through and I didn’t find it boring. If you don’t have a copy, I recommend picking one up and then passing it along to a girlfriend. Share the love. If you’re not familiar with the concepts – each chapter is a lie we tell ourselves.
- I’ll Start Tomorrow – This resonated with me in a big way. In this chapter, she comments a lot about friendship. If you make plans with your friends and then your friend said to you “well, I can’t come because I just want to stay in bed and do nothing” after you’d made plans, what would you think of that friend? That she’s a flake. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why is it okay to cancel on ourselves but not anyone else. We should respect ourselves more than that. She’s right. It is such a small idea, not even really profound in nature but really, really applicable and a great way to think about it. I’ve recently been doing a lot in this area – not cancelling plans on myself and really making my priorities an actual priority in my life.
- I’m Not Good Enough – Another chapter that is fairly self-explanatory. She goes through what made her think she wasn’t good enough and I felt that. I frequently have moments where I don’t feel like I am good enough and I have to bring myself back to focus and remind myself that I am being way, way too hard on myself and I need to afford the same grace I give to others to the person looking back at me in the mirror.
- No is the final answer – This is a good reminder. She is not suggesting you get what you want by brute force, but she does suggest that maybe no is an opportunity to go back to the drawing board and figure out how to get a yes. It might mean the avenue through which you’re currently exploring your dreams is not necessarily the avenue in which they’re going to happen. That’s not to say that everyone who wants to be a writer is going to be a writer, it’s just to say that there is opportunity out there but you can’t live in a world of yeses. No is inevitable at some point and it is what you do with that no that becomes more important than the no itself.
- I’m bad at sex – I am including a review of this chapter specifically not because it really resonated, but because she got a lot of flack for it. Sure, you can take things out of context and eat her alive in many parts of this book, or you can seek to understand. There’s a portion of this chapter where she mentions having sex every day for 30 days and people immediately jump up in arms like she’s forcing herself to have sex with her husband to please him. Trust, she is not doing that. That is not what she’s expressing at all, quite the opposite actually. Read it before you judge it.
- I should be further along by now – This is a great reminder that YOU’VE GOT TIME. You have time to accomplish the things that you’re seeking to do. Everyone is not better than you. Everyone is not further along that you. We all go at our own pace. I think reading this chapter was a great reminder for me that it is never too late to start over and actually follow or set out to pursue a dream you’ve had for yourself. More to come on that when I am up for articulating it. 😉
- I need to make myself smaller – I felt this. I understand what it is like to come from a challenging (that’s a sugar-coated word I chose on purpose) home. I understand what it feels like to have people around you when you’re succeeding but not around you when you’re actually trying. I get it. I know what it feels like to feel like you need to be small in order to take up as little space as possible and not impact the lives of the people around you. It was a sad chapter, but I am sure many can relate whether they realize it or not.
- There’s only one right way to be – Self-explanatory but man can the whole world use a dose of this.
Overall, I related to much of what she said in her book. She set benchmarks for herself in the form of material things and I do that for my own self, so I get it. It isn’t because we’re materialistic, it’s because I need something tangible to hang onto in order to stay motivated. She needs this too. She’s a recovering workaholic. I share a similar desire to recover from that in myself. She is relatable in many situations and in others, I just glossed over them. I understood her point. I didn’t necessarily agree with everything, but I rarely do. Still, I think there are some good turns of phrase that will likely give you pause if you’re looking for something to encourage self-reflection.
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