Arizona welcoming present

We had a rat in our kid’s room last week and it went a little bit like this.

It’s like 9:30 and I am out in my loft office studying. Candle lit. Drinking some tea. As relaxed as you can be when you’re taking like 35 pages of notes.

Ryan comes out and he says “Don’t panic, I think there’s something in Elle’s room.”

Come again?

“I think there’s a rat in Elle’s room.”

He pulls up the video monitor on his phone and we watch this 7 second clip of something with eyeballs running across Elle’s dark bedroom to hide under Zoe’s crib and I get chills because all I see is a darting dark object run across the room and take up residence under a crib that hasn’t even been slept in by baby #2 yet.

Obviously nobody is sleeping with that thing in there and I have never been more grateful that my kids are both in my room.

Ryan goes in there armed with a broom and a diaper box that doesn’t have a lid. As you can expect, I was kind of like what the heck are you going to do with those things to get this rat, but I was mostly proud of him for even trying because my first thought was to call every extermination company in the entire state and get them over here to get rid of it and check for friends.

He fails. Not before breaking Elle’s bed. He tried. I was proud. We weren’t prepared for this that’s for sure.

We spend the next 30 minutes trying to find any place that has after hours pest removal. I mean this state is covered in snakes, scorpions, what have you and literally nobody does after hours pest control. Noted.

We finally find someone who tells us it is going to be expensive but zero people in my house care because we’re not going to sleep with that thing in our house.

Vodka appears magically in glasses for us to drink.

The guy gets here to remove it and Ryan and I both watch him comb that room and tear it apart like he’s looking for illegal drugs and he can’t find it. FINALLY it darts out of the closet and I am reminded that now I have to burn everything in the closet.

He catches it in a bucket that has a lid (mental note to order one of those obviously).

He of course offers to show it to us and I decline because I am not interested in seeing Gus Gus in person and would prefer that he just make his exit. I am thankful we didn’t have to kill it and it just got released. I will probably never forget the image of a rat hanging out on top of my kid’s giant teddy bear in my daughter’s crib like he was making a home for himself. He seemed very comfortable and many people that viewed the video made the comment that he looked like someone’s pet. Nah, I’m good.

Their room has never been cleaner. I mean, I cloroxed walls and tossed all non-essential items into the trash and would probably have considered burning my house down if it wasn’t connected to other people.

Okay, it’s reaching. My first thought was that where there are mice, there are probably snakes. No thanks. There is no room for any of that in my house. I am good.

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